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The Link Demand - Make me an Offer I Can't Refuse

Friday, 04 July 2008

Indeed. Which brings me to this 'thing of ours'. What we call SEO, or search engine optimisation. The glory days of the link exchange may now be a distant memory, but that hasn't stopped one plucky fellow spamming my email box with what must surely be the next logical step for any 'automated link request email' spammer.

The link demand.

Yes indeed, sir. If flattery, politeness, good grammar or promises of hard loving fail to get a response then why not attain your link through menaces?

SEO with menaces

I won't mention names for fear of reprisals, but I will reproduce forthwith (grammar intact) the demand that came through on our contact form.

"Dear Webmaster, I recently came across your site and found it useful resource for my site visitors." ...

Start off nice and friendly. After all, I need to be lulled into a false sense of security.

... "So I need link on your site." ...

There we go. Anybody who's ever seen the Godfather films knows that intent is always conveyed through tone. No begging, no polite suggestion that we should maybe swap numbers and go out for a drink sometime. Straight in with the boot. The link demand.

I need a link on your site??? Well squire, I need a PS3 and a new iPod, but I'm not holding my breath for either just yet.

... "Please add my website information and let me know the place where you have added my website link." ...

We're beyond 'pleases' now, methinks. The intention is clear, I shall be expecting a horse's head to land on my doormat post-haste.

... "Provide me your website information to add." ...

Ah, there it is, my end, tucked away in a sentence so brief and devoid of charm I actually missed it on the first two readings. The website in question has a page entitled links directory, where I'm sure my link – if I were to agree to this demand – would reside. Aren't I the lucky one?

Then follows the title for their link, the URL, and the required Description; followed by a brief 'Have a nice day!'.

And good day to you, sir. Never darken my door again.

Any comments on automated link demands or link request emails from all you good people out there would be heartily appreciated, so get scribbling.

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Comments

It really makes you wonder who is responding to these types of link requests doesn't it? I mean, if we all get these and hit delete you'd think they'd just go away. But they're not going away so who's reciprocating?

JennOsborne on Monday, 07 July 2008 10:24

Good question, Jenn. I'm guessing there's enough people out their who're not tuned into the whole automated spamming thing, and perhaps desperate for a link by any means necessary. When people have been convinced that the Toolbar Pagerank is the be all and end all, and that to boost it they need more and more links, regardless of quality, I guess that's where teh reciprocals come from.
It's like the emails we get offering search engine submission services. 10,000 search engine submits (or some other ridiculous figure) for £100. If you send out 100,000 of these emails and only get a 10% positive response, it's still £10000 for doing nothing.

Nick James on Monday, 07 July 2008 16:56

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