Quiddity! - the SEO Blog

Anybody miss me? I dunno. I go on holiday for a couple of weeks and it appears that silly season breaks out - SEO style - in my absence. I won’t be doing that again in a hurry.

Of course, I’m referring to the wee fella in Roseville, California, USA, who’s had the bright idea of applying for a trademark on the term SEO. Bob on, my friend. What sets this apart from your usual common or garden crank story is the fact that it has reached the publication stage of the registration process, meaning he has passed preliminary review and is now in a waiting period set aside for anybody to register their objections with the Trademark Office.

Apparently your usual head-the-ball dropping by to trademark the word ‘shoe’, or the like, is politely shown the door long before this stage of the process has been reached.

Well I wish him every luck in his endeavour, but it begs the question what will we call ourselves – this website even – once inevitable success has reaped its just rewards upon him?

Well we could go with ‘Essence Internet Marketing’, but I find the term ‘internet marketing’ not only less than willing to slip smoothly off of the tongue, but also far too generic.

Internet marketing is more of a catch-all term for anything that is marketed upon the internet (obviously). This includes Pay-per-click campaigns; Social Media Optimisation; Affiliate sites; Linkbaiting; Viral marketing; Blog monetisation; and all manner of other dark practices away from the SEO sphere, not all of which we dip a tentative toe into.

An interesting post by Mark (The Broadcasting Brain) Dykeman, guesting over at the always reliable Search Engine People, posed the question what the world would be like without search engines. Well apart from perhaps a lower profile for old Billy Shatner, it would also mean no ‘Search Engine Optimisation’ and consequently no chancer named Jason Gambert attempting to screw over every SEO in the industry, some of whom have been at it longer than can possibly be good for any mortal.

So fellow SEO’s, forget the squabbling and in-fighting, and the arguments over whether a ‘white hat’ or ‘black hat’ best suits the new pair of brothel creepers you purchased a week or so ago; and instead unite - For our days are numbered!

What will we call ourselves when old Billy-Bob exclusively owns the term SEO?

How’s about ‘Discovery Portal Tuners’ or DPTs for starters? I could be onto something there. I’d best get myself down the patent office or wherever it is these things are sorted out, quick sharp.

I’ll be ranking number 1 for ‘DPT services’ quicker than you can say village idiot.

Any further suggestions to be sent by pigeon post (for surely his next acquisition will be the term ‘email’, and I’m taking no chances), or failing that you could just pop them in the comment box below. Thanking you.