Quiddity! - the SEO Blog

Man alive! I feel as though I’ve been beat repeatedly about the head with a concrete shovel. The post Christmas blues have bypassed me this year for something with a little more meat. The amount of viruses that are flying around the UK at the moment is unbelievable and each and everyone seems to have arrived at my door. Or maybe I’m just being a big girl’s blouse and suffering nothing worse than a cold – “Man flu” as it’s known around here.

Anyways I’m not here for sympathy, I’m made of stronger stuff than that, but as I lie here ailing - nay fading away – within the communicable pit of my festering sickbed… ahem… and I struggle to even lift the lid on my laptop, I have to wonder whether the need to blog now outweighs the desire.

I’ll ignore that collective groan –  in case I failed to mention it, I’m not a well man.

But anyway, despite feeling far from my best I’m here plugging away, creating another post – and it almost seems like an addiction. Despite my better judgement fearing what may spill forth from my fevered mind, I have taken it upon myself to ignore reasoned advice, loaded up the needle and fired up my word processor.

The initial desire to blog came from a want to do something because I enjoyed it. The need comes from the feeling of having to do it because I enjoy it so much.

Or am I just kidding myself with that last line?

Is it in fact a narcissistic streak; a need to see myself in print and the kick I get from the thought that there are others out there, the world over – reading my words?

That would tally with the term addiction more readily. A craving derived from a selfish desire for a - however brief - high.

Fear Influences Need
But there is another demon that colours this need and that is fear. Fear of losing momentum; fear of disappointing the readers; fear of becoming… obsolete… stale… redundant.

This prods continually at me like the fiery pitchfork of hell’s finest. It feeds self-doubt until that too is a separate entity, lurking ominously on the horizon like some vast, heaving slug, waiting for the moment when I’m at my weakest (did I mention I was not well?) when it will pounce – very slowly, of course - and drain from me any of the remaining creativity, inspiration, and confidence that might reside in my lifeless shell.

For without creativity and inspiration –whether entertaining or providing valuable information – isn’t that what we become? Lifeless shells staring at a blank computer screen wondering where it all went wrong and what in the name of Satan’s left foot is going to provide us with the next word?

Need Conquers a Lifetime
I’m sure I have nightmares about such a scenario, as I’ve been waking up bathed in sweat for the past few days. Or maybe that’s just this terrible sickness that has me within its icy grip – Not sure if I mentioned it before, but I’ve not been well these past few days.

So the need to blog has superseded the desire. I’m fired on by all these things:

1. The Enjoyment.
2. The Addiction.
3. The Selfish Satisfaction.
4. The Fear of Failure.
5. The Shadow of Self-doubt.

Damn! The rest of my life just played out before me. Is this it? What will I blog about when every single topic – nay, every possible combination of words has been used up? When we’re all lifeless shells trapped beneath the weight of the slug of self-doubt, gasping for that one final idea?

I think it’s time I returned to my sickbed, I may have overdone the Ovaltine and Lemsips. What fiery visions they project into my mind…

But out of interest, is it just me or does anybody else experience a need, instead of a desire, to blog?